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Dating Tips

Dating Tips

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DATING TIPS:

In an effort to help you with this process of Jewish dating, here are some suggestions that may prove invaluable to you: 

1. When Dating, Make Yourself Presentable

Dress nicely, as appropriate for the date. A notch above your usual self, at least. Take the time to apply makeup, do your hair, and shine your shoes. Dress in unwrinkled, attractive clothing. 

Make your dating environment presentable as well. For instance, take time to wash the car and clean up the interior. Even use air freshener if your car smells more like pizza than roses.

Once a match has been made, meet each other in a public place such as:  the lobby of a hotel, a restaurant, a coffee shop, the mall, a museum, the library, etc.  If not local, the men come to the ladies' city and observe the same meeting guidelines.  Initially do not give out personal information such as your address until you feel comfortable to do so.

2. Become a Listener 

It is easy to fall into the trap of talking too much about yourself on a date. Remember your goal on a date is to learn about the other person and create an environment where he or she feels safe and comfortable opening up.  

3. Never Judge the Person on the First Date

Let their personality unfold. A person’s nervousness can mask his or her true qualities. Don’t have any expectations on a first date. Unless the first date is a really bad experience, go out on a second date. It may be the fourth date before you can really see the inner person. Many successful marriages have resulted when reluctant people are willing to give the other person a second chance.

4. Don’t Touch and Come Close 

That’s right. Not even holding hands or touching pinkies. Try to put the physical attraction on hold while you explore the deeper things. Outward appearances are the least accurate indicator of true love. Beauty fades but the inner qualities improve with age for those people who are willing to refine them throughout a lifetime. “Don’t touch” is the way to come closer to developing the emotional intimacy that is necessary for a relationship to blossom into marriage. Try to make a rule that you won’t touch for the first 30 days. You will find that your respect for each other grows so great and this deep respect is the strongest foundation for a successful marriage. It’s hard to do but think of the strong bonds you will create.

5. Jews Don’t Fall in Love

We grow in love. There is no Prince or Princess Charming and happily-ever-after without effort. The Jews were betrothed to G‑d at Mt. Sinai, and we have been developing the relationship ever since. Beware of “falling” in love with your eyes closed. The goal is to ascend in love with full awareness of the divine potential between you. You will never find the “perfect” mate, but if you keep your priorities straight and your goals in mind, with the help of G‑d, you will find someone you can love, grow with, and give to for a lifetime.

 Sex comes together with marriage. In the confines of marriage it is a positive thing, but before marriage, it can destroy a person.  The freedom of the western society has brought much material wealth but in terms of personal pleasure, has brought much sadness and loneliness.

6. Never Marry With the Intention of Changing Anyone but Yourself 

You can’t marry for potential. The way you are has to be a match for this moment with the person you are dating. Make sure the person you are dating is someone you like “as is”. Of course, you will both change and grow together through time, but the desire for growth has to come from inside each person. It cannot be forced from the outside. 

7. Email us Within a 24-hour Time Frame How the Date Went  

Your date is waiting to hear from us whether you would like to go out again. Prompt feedback is essential - the earlier the better. We will be able to address any doubts or misunderstandings and help facilitate a second date. 

Even if the couple sees each other several times and then one side decides that the other is not for them, it is our job to tell the other side. We will do so tactfully so there are no hard feelings, rejection nor depression resulting from this. Generally, we will say that the other side feels that this person is very nice but not the one for them.

8. Keep Us Informed

If you are dating or planning to date someone outside of the network, please let us know so that we can temporarily suspend your membership until further notice. Each date should have your 100% attention.

9. Remember, We are Here to Help You Every Step of the Way 

We want to dance at your wedding!

                       

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